that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
