if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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