y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
