You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
