that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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