I'm gonna have a badass scar
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize