Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
