Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
