Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
