dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
thus making me awesome and them whores
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
