She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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