Tell her she can't have a vagina
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Shame - the story of my life.
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