So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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