my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
