Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
