Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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