I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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