so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
