I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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