make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize