I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I can't put those talents on a resume
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize