I need to stop coming to work sober
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
