Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I need to calm my uterus...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
