We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
