TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
