i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The Olympian is in my bed
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
