i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
