and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
