i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
