Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
