hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
