just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
