So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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