If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
