remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
