i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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