a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
