no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
