You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
