Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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