Don't make out with my wife yet
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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