Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
