Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
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