you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
