We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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