I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
