I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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