Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
