you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
