am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We need to rekindle our bromance
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
