Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
