Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
