Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
