I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
