He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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