She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
