its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
