hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
