hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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