Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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